Sunday 9th April: Secret recipe magic paint was prepared and camouflage "Braveheart" blue woad was applied by some of the more vain campers (all male of course - one of whom continued dyeing his hair in the Glen Fruin bushes, presumably looking forward to the arrival of the army boys), before being dropped at the rendez-vous by Father Christmas. The latter went off to fill his sack with extra lock-ons while the merry clan set about arduous sunbathing, busking, shrieking, running about, and other ancient forms of subtle ambush.

Meanwhile Father Christmas joined the convoy at the rear near Balloch to drive it into our trap. After three or four hours of unsuccessful attention-seeking, our team sighted the convoy approaching on the Glen Fruin road and halted it with Lynn and Freya's seagull impressions. These two proceeded to the roof of the front convoy which they decorated with guano. Eventually the blokes realised the action had started, and locked in or did a bit of artwork. One masked unknown whose appearance was disguised by the wearing of many hats painted the word "ILLEGAL" on the side of the front lorry.

By this time the rear of the convoy had ground to a halt and the rear police escort had shot off (in all the excitement) to the front, giving Fungus the chance to leap from Santa's sleigh and lock on. Army surveillence men were keen to get footage and do a bit of hair-pulling, and police were quick to produce their bolt crops. We were all rounded up in about an hour, but the convoy remained stationary for another hour, complete with an unfortunate civilian motorist trapped in the middle.

This is the longest convoy stop to date, but we hope to see the record broken soon.

Special shout to Helensburgh Eric and Dorothy for the "You've out of order by the way!" sign. You did mean us not them didn't you?

Freya & Fungus  

If you'd like to help stop a convoy, please phone:
SCOTLAND: 0141 423 1222 Scottish CND
ENGLAND + WALES: 01274 730 795 Nukewatch